I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
