how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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