My brain says no but my pants say off.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
