my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
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How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
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You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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