i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
