If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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