yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize