The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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