Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
