You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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