Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
