come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
