Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
