so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
