She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
