I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
