i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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