It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
