some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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