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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune

  (1-318): View more from Louisiana

  what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I wanted to see November 5, 1985

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• (212): View more from New York

  You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm

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• (347): View more from New York

  your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I feel a five day drunk coming on.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  So many questions...

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• (941): View more from Florida

  you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins

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• (360): View more from Washington

  And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.

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