She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
