Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
