I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
