We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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