Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
