Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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