I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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