K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
