Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
