And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
