So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
