she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
