Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
