The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So I just went to clothing optional bar
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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