hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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