Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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