Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
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Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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