He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
