Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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