she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
