i think my mom watched the whole time
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
