this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
