I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
