I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
