you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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