how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
