Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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