I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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