before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
