grandma shit on top of the toilet
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
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