yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
