I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
