ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
