wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize