I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
