from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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